Unveiling The Dilemma: "AITA For Telling My Daughter To Get Over The Past"?

Marisa Crooks 02 Aug 2025

"AITA for telling my daughter to get over what happened in the past" explores the dilemma of whether it is acceptable for a parent to tell their child to move on from a traumatic or upsetting event. The phrase "AITA" stands for "Am I the A hole," and is commonly used in online forums to seek feedback on one's actions.

There are various perspectives on this issue. Some believe that it is important to allow individuals to process and heal from past events at their own pace, while others argue that dwelling on the past can be detrimental to personal growth and well-being. The approach that is most appropriate will depend on the specific circumstances and the individual involved.

It is important to consider the potential consequences of telling someone to "get over" something. Minimizing or dismissing someone's experiences can lead to feelings of invalidation and isolation. Additionally, it may prevent individuals from seeking the support they need to heal and move forward.

AITA for telling my daughter to get over what happened in the past

The question of whether or not it is acceptable to tell someone to "get over" something is a complex one. There is no easy answer, and the best course of action will vary depending on the individual and the situation. However, there are some key aspects to consider when making this decision.

Validation: It is important to validate someone's feelings and experiences, even if you don't agree with them.
Dwelling: While it is important to process and heal from past events, dwelling on them can be detrimental to personal growth and well-being.
Resilience: Encouraging resilience and coping mechanisms can help individuals to overcome challenges and move forward.
Support: It is important to provide support and resources to individuals who are struggling to cope with past events.
Professional help: In some cases, professional help may be necessary to address the underlying issues that are preventing someone from moving on.
Context: The context of the situation is important to consider. For example, it may be more appropriate to tell someone to "get over" a minor setback than a major trauma.
Age: The age of the individual is also important to consider. Children and adolescents may need more time and support to process and heal from past events than adults.
Individual differences: Everyone is different, and what works for one person may not work for another. It is important to tailor your approach to the individual.
Long-term effects: Consider the long-term effects of telling someone to "get over" something. It may be more helpful to encourage them to find healthy ways to cope with their experiences.
Relationships: Telling someone to "get over" something can damage relationships. It is important to be sensitive to the feelings of others.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to tell someone to "get over" something is a complex one. There is no easy answer, and the best course of action will vary depending on the individual and the situation. However, by considering the key aspects outlined above, you can make a more informed decision.

Validation

Validation is the act of acknowledging and accepting someone's feelings and experiences, even if you don't agree with them. It is an important part of communication and can help to build trust and rapport. Validation can also help people to feel understood and supported, which can be especially important when they are going through a difficult time.

Recognizing and accepting feelings
The first step to validating someone's feelings is to recognize and accept them. This means listening to what they have to say without judgment or criticism. It also means trying to understand their perspective, even if you don't share it.
Communicating understanding
Once you have recognized and accepted someone's feelings, it is important to communicate your understanding to them. This can be done verbally or nonverbally. For example, you could say something like, "I understand why you're feeling that way," or you could simply nod your head and make eye contact.
Offering support
Validating someone's feelings does not mean that you have to agree with them. However, it does mean that you are there to support them. This could involve offering a listening ear, a hug, or some words of encouragement.
Respecting boundaries
It is important to respect someone's boundaries when validating their feelings. This means not pushing them to talk about something they don't want to talk about, and not trying to change their mind. Simply being there for them and listening to what they have to say can be enough.

Validation is an important part of healthy relationships. It can help to build trust, rapport, and understanding. It can also help people to feel supported and understood, which can be especially important when they are going through a difficult time.

Dwelling

Dwelling on past events can prevent us from moving on and living in the present moment. It can also lead to negative emotions such as anger, resentment, and sadness. In some cases, dwelling on the past can even lead to mental health problems such as depression and anxiety.

Telling someone to "get over" something can be dismissive and invalidating. It can make them feel like their feelings are not important, and that they should just "move on." This can be especially damaging if the person is struggling to cope with a traumatic event.

It is important to allow people to process and heal from past events at their own pace. This may involve talking about the event, writing about it, or seeking professional help. It is also important to provide support and encouragement during this process.

There is a difference between processing and healing from a past event, and dwelling on it. Dwelling on the past can be harmful, while processing and healing can be helpful.

If you are struggling to move on from a past event, it is important to seek professional help. A therapist can help you to process your emotions and develop coping mechanisms.

Resilience

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from difficult experiences and challenges. It is an important quality that can help people to overcome adversity and achieve their goals. There are many different factors that contribute to resilience, including genetics, personality traits, and life experiences.

Coping mechanisms
Coping mechanisms are strategies that people use to manage stress and difficult emotions. Effective coping mechanisms can help people to reduce stress, improve their mood, and solve problems. Some examples of healthy coping mechanisms include exercise, relaxation techniques, and talking to a friend or therapist.
Positive self-talk
Positive self-talk is the practice of talking to oneself in a positive and encouraging way. It can help to boost self-esteem, reduce stress, and improve mood. Positive self-talk can also help people to cope with difficult challenges and setbacks.
Social support
Social support is the network of people who provide emotional, physical, and financial support to an individual. Having a strong social support network can help people to cope with difficult times and achieve their goals. Social support can come from family, friends, colleagues, or community members.
Purpose in life
Having a purpose in life can help people to stay motivated and resilient in the face of challenges. Purpose can come from work, family, hobbies, or other activities that give people a sense of meaning and direction.

Encouraging resilience and coping mechanisms can help individuals to overcome challenges and move forward. It is important to remember that everyone is different and what works for one person may not work for another. The key is to find coping mechanisms that work for you and to build a strong support network. With resilience, you can overcome any challenge and achieve your goals.

Support

Telling someone to "get over" a past event can be dismissive and invalidating. It can make them feel like their feelings are not important, and that they should just "move on." This can be especially damaging if the person is struggling to cope with a traumatic event.

Providing support and resources to individuals who are struggling to cope with past events is essential for their recovery. This may involve:

Emotional support: Listening to the person's story, validating their feelings, and providing reassurance can help them to feel supported and understood.
Practical support: Helping the person to access resources such as therapy, support groups, or financial assistance can help them to get the help they need.
Social support: Encouraging the person to connect with others who have experienced similar events can help them to feel less alone and isolated.

Providing support and resources to individuals who are struggling to cope with past events can help them to heal and move on with their lives. It is important to remember that everyone is different and what works for one person may not work for another. The key is to find coping mechanisms that work for you and to build a strong support network.

Professional help

Telling someone to "get over" a past event can be dismissive and invalidating, especially if they are struggling to cope with the underlying issues that are preventing them from moving on. Professional help can provide the support and resources that the person needs to process their experiences and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

There are many different types of professional help that can be beneficial for people who are struggling to cope with past events. These include:

Therapy: Therapy can provide a safe and supportive environment for people to talk about their experiences and work through their emotions. A therapist can help the person to understand the underlying issues that are preventing them from moving on and develop strategies for coping with them.
Counseling: Counseling can provide support and guidance to people who are struggling with a variety of issues, including past trauma. A counselor can help the person to develop coping mechanisms, improve their communication skills, and build relationships.
Support groups: Support groups can provide a sense of community and belonging for people who have experienced similar events. Support groups can also provide a safe space for people to share their stories and learn from each other.

Professional help can be a valuable resource for people who are struggling to cope with past events. It can provide the support, guidance, and resources that the person needs to process their experiences and move on with their lives.

Context

The context of a situation is an important factor to consider when deciding whether or not to tell someone to "get over" something. For example, it may be more appropriate to tell someone to "get over" a minor setback, such as losing a job or failing a test, than a major trauma, such as the death of a loved one or being the victim of a crime.

In the case of "aita for telling my daughter to get over what happened in the past," the context is crucial. The question of whether or not it is acceptable to tell someone to "get over" something is a complex one, and the answer will vary depending on the specific situation.

If the daughter is struggling to cope with a minor setback, such as a breakup or a missed opportunity, then it may be more appropriate to encourage her to "get over" it. However, if the daughter is struggling to cope with a major trauma, such as sexual abuse or a natural disaster, then it is important to be more supportive and understanding.

Telling someone to "get over" something can be dismissive and invalidating, especially if they are struggling to cope with a traumatic event.

It is important to remember that everyone is different and what works for one person may not work for another. The key is to find coping mechanisms that work for you and to build a strong support network.

Age

The age of the individual is an important factor to consider when deciding whether or not to tell someone to "get over" something. Children and adolescents are still developing emotionally and psychologically, and they may need more time and support to process and heal from past events than adults.

Cognitive development: Children and adolescents are still developing their cognitive abilities, including their ability to understand and process complex emotions. This means that they may not be able to fully understand the impact of a past event, or they may not be able to develop healthy coping mechanisms on their own.
Emotional development: Children and adolescents are also still developing their emotional regulation skills. This means that they may be more likely to experience intense emotions, and they may not be able to manage these emotions in a healthy way.
Social development: Children and adolescents are also developing their social skills. This means that they may not have the same level of social support as adults, and they may not be able to rely on others for help and guidance.

For all of these reasons, it is important to be more cautious about telling children and adolescents to "get over" something. It is important to provide them with the time, support, and resources that they need to process and heal from past events.

In the context of "aita for telling my daughter to get over what happened in the past," it is important to consider the age of the daughter. If the daughter is a child or adolescent, then it is more likely that she will need more time and support to process and heal from the event. It is important to be patient and understanding, and to provide her with the resources that she needs to cope.

Individual differences

In the context of "aita for telling my daughter to get over what happened in the past," it is important to consider the individual differences between people. What works for one person may not work for another, and it is important to tailor your approach to the individual.

Emotional resilience: Some people are more emotionally resilient than others. They may be able to bounce back from difficult experiences more quickly and easily than others. When dealing with someone who is struggling to cope with a past event, it is important to be patient and understanding. You may need to provide more support and encouragement than you would for someone who is more resilient.
Coping mechanisms: Everyone has their own unique coping mechanisms for dealing with difficult experiences. Some people may find comfort in talking about their experiences, while others may prefer to keep them to themselves. It is important to respect the individual's coping mechanisms and to provide support in a way that is most helpful to them.
Cultural background: Cultural background can also influence how people cope with difficult experiences. In some cultures, it is common to express emotions openly, while in other cultures it is more common to keep emotions bottled up. It is important to be aware of the individual's cultural background and to tailor your approach accordingly.
Age: Age can also play a role in how people cope with difficult experiences. Children and adolescents may need more support and guidance than adults. They may also be more likely to experience intense emotions and may not have the same coping skills as adults.

By considering the individual differences between people, you can tailor your approach to the individual and provide the best possible support.

Long-term effects

Telling someone to "get over" a past event can have a number of negative long-term effects. These effects can include:

Emotional damage: Telling someone to "get over" something can be emotionally damaging. It can make the person feel like their feelings are not important, and that they should not talk about their experiences. This can lead to feelings of isolation, shame, and guilt.
Physical health problems: Stress can have a negative impact on physical health. Telling someone to "get over" something can increase their stress levels, which can lead to a number of health problems, including headaches, stomachaches, and insomnia.
Relationship problems: Telling someone to "get over" something can damage relationships. It can make the person feel like they cannot talk to their loved ones about their experiences. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Substance abuse: Some people may turn to substance abuse in an attempt to cope with the pain of a past event. This can lead to addiction and other serious problems.

It is important to remember that everyone is different, and what works for one person may not work for another. However, it is generally not helpful to tell someone to "get over" a past event. Instead, it is more helpful to encourage them to find healthy ways to cope with their experiences.

In the context of "aita for telling my daughter to get over what happened in the past," it is important to consider the long-term effects of this statement. Telling your daughter to "get over" what happened may have a number of negative consequences, including emotional damage, physical health problems, relationship problems, and substance abuse. It is important to be supportive and understanding, and to encourage your daughter to find healthy ways to cope with her experiences.

Relationships

In the context of "aita for telling my daughter to get over what happened in the past," it is important to consider the potential impact on your relationship with your daughter. Telling someone to "get over" something can damage relationships, as it can make the person feel like their feelings are not important or that they are not being heard.

Facet 1: Invalidating Feelings
Telling someone to "get over" something can invalidate their feelings and make them feel like their experiences are not important. This can damage relationships, as it can create a sense of distance and mistrust. In the context of a parent-child relationship, it is especially important to be sensitive to your child's feelings and to avoid invalidating them.
Facet 2: Lack of Support
When you tell someone to "get over" something, you are essentially telling them that you are not there to support them. This can be very damaging to relationships, as it can make the person feel like they are alone and that they have no one to turn to. In the context of a parent-child relationship, it is important to be supportive of your child and to let them know that you are there for them.
Facet 3: Communication Breakdown
Telling someone to "get over" something can break down communication between people. When someone feels like their feelings are not being heard or validated, they may be less likely to communicate with you openly and honestly. This can damage relationships, as it can create a barrier to communication and understanding.
Facet 4: Loss of Trust
Telling someone to "get over" something can damage trust between people. When someone feels like their feelings are not being respected or understood, they may be less likely to trust you. This can damage relationships, as it can make it difficult to build and maintain trust.

Overall, it is important to be sensitive to the feelings of others and to avoid telling them to "get over" something. This can damage relationships and make it difficult to build and maintain trust.

Frequently Asked Questions about "AITA for telling my daughter to get over what happened in the past"

This section addresses common concerns or misconceptions raised regarding the topic of telling someone to "get over" a past event, particularly in the context of a parent-child relationship.

Question 1: Is it ever acceptable to tell someone to "get over" something?

Answer: It is generally not advisable to tell someone to "get over" a past event. Telling someone to "get over" something can be dismissive and invalidating, and it can damage relationships. It is more helpful to encourage the person to find healthy ways to cope with their experiences.

Question 2: What are the potential consequences of telling someone to "get over" something?

Answer: Telling someone to "get over" something can have a number of negative consequences, including emotional damage, physical health problems, relationship problems, and substance abuse.

Question 3: How can I support someone who is struggling to cope with a past event?

Answer: There are a number of things you can do to support someone who is struggling to cope with a past event. These include:

Listening to the person's story
Validating the person's feelings
Providing reassurance
Helping the person to develop healthy coping mechanisms
Encouraging the person to seek professional help if needed

Question 4: What should I do if I have told someone to "get over" something and they are upset?

Answer: If you have told someone to "get over" something and they are upset, it is important to apologize and to let them know that you understand why they are upset. You can also try to explain why you said what you said, and to let them know that you are there to support them.

Question 5: Is it okay to tell a child to "get over" something?

Answer: It is generally not advisable to tell a child to "get over" something. Children are still developing emotionally and psychologically, and they may need more time and support to process and heal from past events than adults.

Question 6: What are some healthy ways to cope with a past event?

Answer: There are a number of healthy ways to cope with a past event. These include:

Talking about the event with a trusted friend or family member
Writing about the event in a journal
Exercising
Spending time in nature
Getting enough sleep
Eating healthy foods
Seeking professional help if needed

Summary: It is important to be sensitive to the feelings of others and to avoid telling them to "get over" something. This can damage relationships and make it difficult to build and maintain trust. If someone is struggling to cope with a past event, it is important to be supportive and to encourage them to find healthy ways to cope.

Transition to the next article section: This concludes the FAQs on "AITA for telling my daughter to get over what happened in the past." For more information on this topic, please consult the provided references or seek advice from a qualified professional.

Tips Regarding "AITA for telling my daughter to get over what happened in the past"

When dealing with the aftermath of a traumatic event, it is crucial to approach the situation with sensitivity and understanding. Here are several tips to guide your interactions and provide support:

Tip 1: Validate the Person's Feelings
Acknowledge and accept the individual's emotions without judgment or dismissiveness. Let them know that their feelings are valid and that it is okay to express them.

Tip 2: Listen Actively
Create a safe and non-judgmental space for the person to share their experiences. Listen attentively, showing empathy and understanding through verbal and non-verbal cues.

Tip 3: Avoid Dismissive Language
Refrain from using phrases like "get over it" or "it's in the past." Such dismissive language can invalidate the person's feelings and hinder their healing process.

Tip 4: Offer Practical Support
Provide tangible assistance, such as helping the person access resources like therapy, support groups, or medical care. Practical support demonstrates your genuine concern and willingness to help.

Tip 5: Respect Boundaries
Understand that the person may need time and space to process their emotions. Respect their boundaries and avoid pressuring them to talk or engage before they are ready.

Tip 6: Encourage Professional Help
If the person is struggling to cope or their emotional distress is severe, encourage them to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor. Professional guidance can provide valuable support and coping mechanisms.

Tip 7: Be Patient and Understanding
Healing from trauma takes time and effort. Be patient with the person as they navigate their journey. Offer ongoing support and understanding, even if there are setbacks along the way.

Summary: By following these tips, you can create a supportive and understanding environment that fosters healing and empowers the individual to cope with the challenges they have faced. Remember to approach the situation with empathy, respect, and a genuine desire to help.

Conclusion

The question of whether or not it is acceptable to tell someone to "get over" a past event is a complex one. There is no easy answer, and the best course of action will vary depending on the individual and the situation. However, it is important to approach the topic with sensitivity and understanding, and to avoid using dismissive language that can invalidate the person's feelings.

If someone is struggling to cope with a past event, it is important to offer support and encouragement. This may involve listening to them, validating their feelings, and helping them to access resources such as therapy or support groups. It is also important to be patient and understanding, and to remember that healing from trauma takes time and effort.

Ultimately, the goal is to create a supportive and understanding environment that fosters healing and empowers the individual to cope with the challenges they have faced.

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